Monday morning quarterback

I am so mad.

First game of the season. I was excited: I had my guacamole and Tostitos chips, two blankets – because my basement regularly reaches arctic levels of freezing – and my computer to banter back and forth with the assorted Packers' fans at my school.

I had such confidence in the Bears this year.

Jay Cutler, my friend, I’m quite sorry but it’s possible I could’ve thrown fewer interceptions than you. I spent a lot of time defending you against multiple ruthless Packers' fans claiming you couldn’t do it. I don’t just blame you, but interception after interception I began to lose my faith in the beacon of hope I saw you as.

I’m sorry; it wasn’t totally your fault. I’m sure it must have been hard playing away at Green Bay. But how intimidating are grown men with fake cheese on their heads? Truthfully, answer me that.

I look forward to you stepping up and playing your next game like a pro.