"3 Blonde Moms" highlights
These ladies definitely know how to laugh at, with and in spite of themselves.
I was fortunate enough to see the "3 Blonde Moms" semi-scripted comedy show at the Raue Center for the Arts in Crystal Lake the other night and thought I'd share some of their stories.
Though, this is a show made even more hilarious by the physical comedy, expressions, looks and voice inflections of these talented women.
Still, I'll try to summarize a little. I'm not one to do reviews, so this is more like how I'd describe the show to a friend. Won't you be my friend?
The show begins with the three of them, special guest Stephanie Hodge, Joanie Fagan and Beaumont Bacon, on the stage together basically describing themselves and their families. You can read more about each of them on their web site, but all have appeared in various television shows and films.
Beaumont's the feisty Southern girl, Faga's overly perky and Hodge is described as the "hottie."
There's a lot of talk about the after-the-baby body, sex after kids, dating your husband and so on.
"I don't look at myself naked. That's not my job," said Hodge, who was up first. "If my husband wants to, he just takes off his glasses and everything looks good."
She described her stomach as a topographical map. She once had a cute little belly button, she said. Now, she said, "It looks like it wants to just spit at you all the time."
Next up is Fagan, the self-described "mom who walks out of the house and all the other moms walk back in."
"Great," the other moms will say, "she has a latte and a Bedazzler."
Fagan tried to lose weight by jogging, and noticed the younger girls wearing shorts with words, such as "Juicy" on the back.
"I got myself a pair," she said. "Mine were juuuicccy." They had six letter "u's" in them, she said.
Fagan has done shows in Las Vegas, and described feeling proud when her family came to a show. She told them her name was on the marquee. "Joanie Fagan," it read. Underneath, it said, "craps in the lounge."
And finally, came Bacon, quite the physical comedian who had the entire crowd in hysterics as she acted out her 22-year marriage as if she were on a roller coaster ride.
The "band of gold" activates a "fat gene," she said, adding she could feel the back fat growing as she walked back down the aisle.
"Babies," she said, "that's a spinning cup ride. It doesn't go anywhere, same thing day in, day out."
She stepped off the ride acting dizzy. She called it the "mommy cave."
"I went into that cave and I was so cute and sweet... birds would sit on my finger," she said. "I've come out and something happened."
A skit about going on Tuesday date nights with her husband and the wordless way she directs him to get the popcorn, stand in the right line, tuck in his shirt, get butter and so on had the crowd rolling.
When she and her husband first started dating, they'd come home full of passion and have sex on the dining room table, she said. Now, if he tried that, it'd be more like, "We eat off that table."
"Those are the good dishes. I'm not picking that up."
"I used to like sex in the morning," she said later. "Now I'm a mother. I like sleep."
