When they leave childhood behind...
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We all could use a little perspective once in awhile. And in the following guest blog entry, Crystal Lake mom Bonnie Stipetic provides it:
Stipetic is a mom of three, including Sarah and Alex (pictured here at their homecoming last weekend). As she puts it, she's also a mom "nearing the end of childhood with her oldest child."
Here's the e-mail she sent me:
"You see my oldest daughter Sarah is a senior at Crystal Lake Central High School. This week has been filled with school pride and spirit for her. It is homecoming week. For me it is the beginning of the end of part of our story together.
As I write you this, I have just returned from picking up corsages and boutonnières and she is in the shower while her brother (a sophomore) is washing our car for the evening's dance.
Me, I sit here getting ready to curl hair and try not to cry... this is the last one for her, the final homecoming here at home... She will go on to college and have more formals I am sure, but this will be the last one that I get to help pick the dress, fix her hair and make sure her flowers are straight.
I see the woman she has become, no longer a little girl with bed head, (loved that photo by the way). I see the kind, caring, hardworking, dedicated, strong and beautiful woman she has become.
While I wonder where the time went, and when she started looking old enough that co-workers think she is an adult, and I miss the time I had with her when she used to be home after school, (these days I am lucky to get a 20-minute chat once a week!), I am in awe of how much she endured, how much she has grown, and the wonderful person she has become!
She has endured a divorce as a young child, she has endured two parents who took years to figure out how to still be parents while they were no longer married to each other. She has endured a blended family and welcomed two new step-parents into her life and heart.
She has endured the loss of both a beloved family member at a very young age, and the loss of a cousin gone long before her time, yet she has not been mired down by sadness, has not given up on love.
She sings with the voice of an angel, she dreams without limits, and she works to be responsible, caring, and improve her education. She is blessed with a pure heart, and a little naiveté, though that lessens every day.
I watch her prepare for this last homecoming, and wonder where her stuffed animal collection went, I watch her paint her nails and wonder where she has stashed the Barbie model head she used to paint, as she slips on her shoes. I remember the endless parade of princess outfits when she was a very little girl parading around in my shoes. She now has 37 pairs of her own.
I look around the room at the hundreds of pictures I have in every nook and crany and walk down memory lane… I hear the little girl laughter, I see the smile that lights up her entire face… And as she asks me to fix her hair, I resist the temptation to put her hair up into the ponytail fountain at the top of her head that always looked so cute when she was my little girl.
These 'lasts' will be bittersweet, as we leave the little girl behind, and welcome the woman ... trying to figure out how I will make it through graduation without bawling, and how I will be able to leave her dorm at college that first day without sobbing like a fool.
My logical side wants her to grow and experience life to its fullest, but in my hearts heart, she will always be the little girl with the 'silky' rubbing through her fingers as she falls asleep.
Jami, as you survive your children’s childhood every day, and believe me some days it’s a feat to survive... I have left out a few doors slamming and temper tantrums.. savor the moments, big and small. Someday in the not so distant future, they will be parading out the door on their own and taking a big part of you with them.
You will be amazed at the people they become, proud to have been a part of it, but mostly, just wish it had not happened so fast. I know they have lifetimes left to live, that I will be a part of all of it, new stories, new chapters of our lives together will unfold.. it’s just a little bittersweet to watch them leave childhood behind."
Thanks Bonnie for your wonderful words!
And if anyone else has any interest in writing a guest blog entry about parenting, please send me an e-mail at jkunzer@nwherald.com
Or, as always, I'd appreciate any input, feedback, suggestions or topic ideas you'd like me to research and write about either here or for the newspaper.
