NEW YORK – Suri Cruise would never wear denim, is on the Dukan Diet and considers Jay-Z and Beyonce's daughter, Blue Ivy, a rival.
Not the real Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but the one written about in a snarky blog — and now book — "Suri's Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary From Hollywood's Little Sweetheart" (Running Press).
Behind this fictional Suri, who is more Blair Waldorf of TV's "Gossip Girl" than 6-year-old Suri, is Allie Hagan.
About 18 months ago, Hagan thought she had an idea for a fun hobby: writing a humor blog from Suri's perspective.
"Every once in a while on my personal Twitter account I'd make little jokes about what Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was wearing or what Suri was up to, and a friend suggested I start a Tumblr account with that kind of humor about celebrity families," the 25-year-old Hagan, who lives in Washington, D.C., said in a recent interview.
"I knew that if I wrote it from my own perspective, it would come across as unnecessarily mean, possibly creepy. So I tried to think of a different angle."
Typical posts have a fictional Suri commenting on the outfits of other celebrity children or seeming utterly embarrassed by her parents.
One topic Hagan ditched the cynicism over was the recent split of Suri's parents. Her Web site had the highest traffic ever on the day Holmes announced she had filed for divorce from Cruise.
"I felt a lot of pressure because even though I think a lot of people saw it as a humorous kind of huge pop culture event ... I still see (Suri) as a girl whose parents were splitting up and I didn't want to make fun of that," she said.
The resulting post, written as Suri, led with, "Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. (Just mine though — everyone else is fair game.)"
In the past year, Hagan juggled daily blog posts with more timeless musings for her book of the same name.
She recently quit her day job as an education policy consultant and is now a full-time writer. She says with so much attention placed on Hollywood kids, the possibilities about what to write seem endless.
Hagan hopes Britain's Kate Middleton and actress Diane Kruger will become mothers.
She said the fictional Suri longs to be royalty and "will be distraught" if the Duchess of Cambridge has children.
And Hagan is a fan of Kruger and her longtime boyfriend (and former Holmes' co-star and love interest) Joshua Jackson.
"I think they are so fashionable and there's also that ... Katie Holmes' old-loves connection. I just think it would be fun to write about and I think they're just so cool."