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McCaleb: Can you spell t-h-e-s-p-i-a-n?

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I’ve taken to the stage for what only my mom would describe as the “performing arts” exactly three times in my life.

In my final performance, I played the Mouse King in a nonmusical production of “The Nutcracker Suite.”

I had all of two lines, if memory serves, one of which went something along the lines of, “Get them!”

It wasn’t quite a soliloquy, but I delivered the pronouncement with a pitch and a cadence that would have made Sidney Poitier proud.

I was just 8 years old and in the third grade at the time, but I was proud.

Had they handed out Tonys for Best Supporting Role in an Elementary School Play, I surely would have, well ... I would have had Mom’s vote anyway.

I dig way deep into my résumé today because I’m about to end my 36-year absence from the stage.

Someone please notify TMZ.

Paul Lockwood, president of the nonprofit TownSquare Players, McHenry County’s oldest active community theater group, has invited me to participate in one of the group’s upcoming performances of “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.”

The musical comedy will be staged Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons beginning March 8 and ending March 24 at the Woodstock Opera House.

My single appearance will be at 3 p.m. Sunday, March 24.

Yes, the encore production. You won’t want to miss it.

Or maybe you will, I don’t know.

To summarize, the Tony award-winning musical centers around a fictional spelling bee at a middle school in – where else – Putnam County.

What’s unique about this comedy is that four audience members are selected before the curtains open to join the ensemble cast on stage. The audience members play some of the spellers competing in the bee. They actually have to spell words, after asking such standard questions as, “What does the word mean” and “Can you please use it in a sentence?”

Lockwood and other TownSquare Players staff thought that it might stir greater interest if they sought out local public figures to fill one of the four audience spots in each of the nine performances.

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