Titus finds humor in life's darkest moments

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Two for flinching.

That’s what you’ll get if you’re a little afraid of Christopher Titus’ comedy.

His brutally honest talking points find the darkest humor in life’s cruelest absurdities.
He fearlessly, hilariously and poignantly recounts his childhood with his late mentally ill mom and the indelicate dad who raised him.

Example: A bit from his 2004 Comedy Central special “Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding” elicited nervous laughter from the audience. “You’d better lighten the f--- up, ’cause we’re going a lot farther than THAT tonight.”

Now he’s worked his divorce into the act.

“I lost 28 pounds in the divorce,” he whimpers. “That’s what a soul weighs.”

Titus will hold court New Year’s Eve at the Improv in Schaumburg. He’ll be there through Jan. 4. He’s even promised some new stuff about “Neverlution,” his theory that humans really haven’t come that far.

For the uninitiated, Titus has starred in a hit self-titled TV show and two Comedy Central specials – “Norman Rockwell is Bleeding” and “The 5th Annual End of the World Tour.”

The third, “Love is Evol,” will premiere on Valentine’s Day. The tagline: “A show that will fix your relationship ... or destroy it. Either way, you’re welcome.”

So, you live in sunny California, right?

I’ve lived in California my whole life except for the time I lived in Detroit (with his grandparents) and my dad kidnapped me back.

Then how do you feel about spending New Year’s Eve in Chicago where it will probably be 40 below?

I gotta tell you, Chicago is one of my favorite towns. It’s a wonderful mix of brains and blue collar that I really like. L.A is L.A. New York is New York. But Chicago is a great measuring stick for comedians. Second City is there. If you do well there, you’ll do well anywhere.

Are Illinoisans and Gov. Blagojevich giving you plenty of material?

Chicago politics is corrupt? How surprising! You guys invented it. We haven’t had a good corruption scandal in a while. I was beginning to wonder what was happening in Chicago. But then this guy comes out and it was a sigh of relief.

Tell me about your upcoming Comedy Central special “Love is Evol.”

After the last comedy special I said to God, “I kinda need some material,” and I ended up getting divorced. Turns out you need to be more specific with God. ...

We’ve all been with that person. We think we’re not good-looking enough, not successful enough, and we suck it up with these idiots for years. And this is your life. At some point, you realize if, say you live with them for two years, you don’t get a rebate. Death won’t say “Hey look, I was going to take you today, but here’s a coupon on your life.” ...

Have you been to the new Web site? There’s this horrible voice message. (At the show’s Web site, you can listen to Titus pleading and sniffling rather uncourageously on an ex’s answering machine – www.christophertitus.com). You know, the one you wish you could take back? “I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you.” Then I very sadly say “Call me back.”

What else is new?

Neverlution. We (humans) started out sitting on our butts lighting a fire, now we’re still sitting on our butts playing PlayStation.

I put my Christmas tree up. Trying to be green, environmentally friendly. Basically, we cut down a tree that is providing oxygen, bring it into the hot, humid house in middle of winter and put lights on it.
We’re not getting better.

When did you realize you were funny?

My father was horrible with women and my mom was mentally ill, and he had to raise me through that. He didn’t want me to think things were weird. He made the weird, dark stuff funny. Like when we’d visit the mental hospital. I’d be coloring and my mom was chained to a table.
When I was 5, I decided to be a comedian. ... I liked to listen to Cosby.

A lot of comedians cite Bill Cosby as inspiration.

Cosby is not a black or white comic. He’s universal. And he doesn’t do the “did you ever notice?” stuff. He’s always telling stories about him. At the end of a Cosby show, you know who Bill Cosby is.

You dealt with a lot of tough issues with your parents, which you rather fearlessly talk about on stage. How can you stand to do that?

Comics have to be insane. If you go back to Richard Pryor – who, by the way, I started listening to his records that I got at the local library when I was a seventh-grader – he talks about early on about being in front of his house – a black man in the ’70s with a gun, shooting at a car so his wife doesn’t leave the house. (Pryor notoriously “killed” his car in the late ’70s.) Now that sounds scary, doesn’t it? He makes it sound so funny. It’s never the scary moment, it’s how you lead them to the scary moment.

I’m sure it’s affected the way you raise your kids.

I definitely have a balance. ... There’s a part of my dad in me. He hated Christmas, and there was one year when I was a teenager and I put up a Christmas tree. I came home and found the Christmas tree in the front yard. ... I’m not as harsh as my dad.

If they make a biopic on your life, who will play Christopher Titus?

Jake Busey or Will Smith.

You’re really into cars, right? Tell me about that.

My dad got me into building cars. I’ve been doing it since I was a fetus. He loves to tell this story. When I was 3 or 4 years old, he was working on a ’64 Chevy Impala SS 327 Cross-Ram. They’re going to know I’m a car guy if you put that (the car’s entire name) in there. This is before car seats and not leaving your kids alone in the car. He goes in the house to grab a drink. In between him leaving and coming back, I had picked up a hammer and was beating on the car. I told him “I fixed it.” He said he’d never come so close to killing to a human being.

Christopher Titus' Bio

Born: Oct. 1, 1964 (age 44)

Family: Daughter, Kennie; son, Jett

TV shows: “21 Jump Street,” “Titus,” “Big Shots”

Specials: “Norman Rockwell is Bleeding,” “The 5th Annual End of the World Tour,” “Love is Evol”
(airing Valentine’s Day on Comedy Central)

New Year’s Show Spectacular Starring Christopher Titus

When: Doors open at 7:30 p.m., prime rib dinner buffet at 8 p.m.; show starts at 10 p.m. Wednesday

Where: The Chicago Improv, 5 Woodfield Road, Schaumburg

Tickets: $120 per person; $70 per person to arrive at 9:30 p.m. and see the show without dinner

Information: www.symfonee.com/improv/chicago

More Christopher Titus

When: 8 and 10:15 p.m. Jan. 2; 7 and 9:15 p.m. Jan. 3; and 7 p.m. Jan. 4

Where: The Chicago Improv, 5 Woodfield Road, Schaumburg

Tickets: $26 Jan. 2-3, $24 Jan. 4

Information: www.symfonee.com/improv/chicago