The challenge of getting boys to clean up

I have reluctantly accepted one of the unavoidable aspects of having a house full of boys – the "frat house" scenario.

While I know there are those few neat freak men out there, and it is possible for a boy to have a clean room, the majority of our little young men like to see how messy they can get a room, and still locate it. I gave up on the idea of giving my boys all their own rooms a long time ago. You start to realize the more rooms they get, the more rooms they destroy.

While it is true that getting rid of old clothes, and minimizing the toys they have, may help, the reality is that you still need clothes to be in their rooms, and there is a certain amount of toys needed to occupy them when they finally go to their rooms. Now I must give my boys some credit, they do help me clean their rooms occasionally, and they are always excited when we are done and they can actually get into their rooms again without tripping over something.

The problem is, they can go pretty long sleeping and playing in a complete mess. I love my boys, but on this topic, I give in and admit they are all boy. I thank God for doors, so we can at least shield the poor visitors that may come and go from what lurks upstairs. The one rule that I have instituted for the boys is that I will not have any playdates with their friends if their rooms are a mess. This does work sometimes to get an extra cleaning out of them.

I still have not found a complete solution to this one, because you cannot change the nature of a boy.   We are constantly bombarded with media coverage of sports events, and what is always a sure thing? The nasty reality of a men's locker room. Will that ever change? I don't think so.

Again, I know I am not talking about every man and every boy, but there are just so many that fall into this category. When I first prepared my first nursery for the twins, we painted the room special colors, and I went crazy looking for this Looney Toons border, I went nuts finding the right one. I put it up and, a few months later, my twins pulled it all down.

That was the beginning of what was to come. Gorgeous sheet sets, tossed on the floor. It is great to see your sons sprawled out directly on an expensive mattress. Their new suits tossed in a pile because they think the maid will press and return it to the hanger. Stuffed animals that you spent tons of money winning for them at the carnival used as a barricade blocking the entrance to their room.

Thank God I was able to ban food from the rooms, and actually got my way on that one. That at least eliminates the bug scenario that is, I am sure, a part of frat house living.

You have to be happy with the "little victories." I will say that I am hopeful as the boys get older I will be able to get them to take more pride in their things, and maybe look at the subject of living in a clean environment as not a punishment, but an accompishment.

I know there are a lot of mothers out there who just accept that they have boys, and this is what
boys do. Some of them may spend all of their days cleaning up after their boys. I will assist my boys, and give direction, and maybe offer a short cut, but that is as far as it goes.

I accept this challenge, and my feeling is that if I can get my boys just to be even a little different on this issue, I will have done a good job. So I say to all the boys out there, it is not uncool or a waste of time to keep a clean room, or help your mom. You are taking pride in yourself, and you are thanking your parents for all they provide for you.

Don't pay attention to stereotypes, you are too young for that.

Frat houses may be cool when you are in college, but that is where it ends. Nobody wants to live in a frat house forever, so why don't you work with your mothers and keep that room clean. You may just find all the things that have been buried in the bottom of that closet, and then you will have your mom to thank.