Won't pay to be afraid

I hate scary movies.

And as the latest frightening film sweeps its way through America, yielding pandemonium and leaving thousands of people afraid to go to sleep in its wake, I refuse to see it and cower when the previews come on television. For the record, these “previews” show little actual footage and focus more on audience reactions … still incredibly alarming to me.  

I don’t understand the point of seeing a scary movie. Why spend upwards of $10 to hide your face in either your friends arm or the arm of the stranger next to you. The point being, you spend more time cowering into a shoulder than actually enjoying the full effect of the film.

Afterward, viewers enter this post-movie state of shock for the rest of the night. I spent a full four or five hours with friends who had seen a scary movie and I was able to convince them multiple times that demons were coming for them. Yes, it was mean, but so very fun.

What is this hysteria with people wanting to pay money to be afraid? Is it enjoyable not being able to sleep alone for a week? I didn’t think so.