A fundraiser this weekend will raise money for a Woodstock family as well as epilepsy awareness.

I wrote about Lucas Iversen here several months ago shortly after the family had learned of his epilepsy diagnosis.

At the time, Lucas was suffering from seizures up to 30 times a day. Thanks to various treatments and especially the Ketogenic Diet he has been on, his seizures have decreased tremendously, said his mother, Dawn. Dawn and her husband Eric also have three other boys, ages 4, 17 and 20.

The strict diet is basically high in fat and low in carbohydrates that must be carefully monitored.

"That alone has been something I can't even explain to you," Dawn said. "The diet is so time consuming and expensive, but I feel it is so worth it. You can't put a dollar amount on this."

Lucas has had numerous hospital stays, including 10 days at the Cleveland Clinic, which has an Epilepsy Center. Because of this, the family has accumulated numerous hospital bills.

To help offset those bills, Lucas' aunt Stacy Pahl organized a fundraiser taking place from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday at D'Andrea Banquets and Conference Center, 4419 Northwest Hwy., Crystal Lake. The event is open to the public with admission being a can of food for a local food pantry.

It will include a silent auction, a raffle of 50 to 60 items, live entertainment and a children's room with a clown, Santa Claus, games and other activities.

Roughly 20 auction items include getaways to places such as the Cayman Islands, dinner party packages, a hot air balloon ride, a Chicago Bears jersey signed by Brian Urlacher, a baseball signed by Phil Niekro of the Hall of Fame, spa packages and much more.

"We can't make Lucas' meals for him because they're so exact," Pahl said. "This is a way we could hopefully eliminate some of the burden of the finances so they could spend more quality time with the family."

Dawn said she has been overwhelmed by the support, and feels blessed that Lucas' health has improved.

Past seizures have caused Lucas to suddenly fall face-first onto the floor or concrete or even off a swingset.

"The hard part is always living on the edge because you never know when they're going to come," Dawn said. 

Dawn also has received support from members of the McHenry County-based Mom 2 Mom group (www.mom2momclub.com) she joined when Lucas was about a week old. She also has relied on the Epilepsy Foundation of North Central Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska (www.efncil.org), which has a McHenry County office, reachable at (847) 791-4797.

When they're younger, the milestones are more obvious.

You watch as they learn to talk, walk, run, as they move from the bottle to baby food to whole food.

And then, suddenly, while you're not looking, while you're busy with schedules and accomplishing what the day demands, while you're busy with life, they're six years old.

And they're asking for tennis shoes that glitter and a Hannah Montana birthday cake. 

I look at my oldest daughter on her birthday and still see those chubby cheeks, that dimple I memorized when she was born. 

But she's grown into this sensitive, sometimes dramatic, little girl with her own friends, her own schedule, her own party invitations.

Six is a curious age. 

She still hugs me when she flies off the school bus, but it's a quick hug. She needs to make faces and wave goodbye to her friends.

She'll have lengthy phone conversations with her friends about High School Musical, tell me Sesame Street is "for babies."

But she'll still sit on my lap to watch "Little House on the Prairie." She'll look back at me, those big blue eyes shining, and say something poignant like, "This teaches me lessons to learn in my heart."

Just like that, I see this beautiful, amazing woman-to-be. 

And it's hard to believe that this is the same kid who tests the boundaries so much so sometimes that I truly wonder whether she's hormonal. 

She'll often fight with her sisters, say things like, "I don't like the way you're acting at me. You're not my best friend."

Then moments later, I'll hear her telling that same sister, "Let's dry your tears," as she wipes her cheek and gives her a hug.

As much as I've tried to shape her, she's shaping me. I'm learning to mother her not as the baby she was, but as the person she's becoming. A person with her own will, her own personality, her own sense of humor.

"If you can have any super power you wanted, what would it be?" I asked the kids as we were stuck in traffic one day. "Would you want to fly, breathe under water, be invisible..."

As her younger sisters shouted out all sorts of silly answers, she looked at me somewhat annoyed.

"Well, mother," she said rather dryly, "I'd like to fly so I could get out of here and away from all this traffic."

Like her father, she'll memorize movie lines, pull them out of nowhere, like the day he turned on the furnace for the first time this season. As furnaces often do, it groaned in protest. 

Having watched "A Christmas Story" quite a few times, she looked at him and said, "It's a clinker!"

A "Ratatouille" fan, she told her cousins as they joined us for dinner one night, "Don't just hork it down!" 

As much as I'm loving watching her grow, I'm fighting the urge to hold her back. She's encountering all sorts of situations, all sorts of people out there.

I'd like to shout out how special she truly is, but I simply must stand back and hope they see it on their own. That's almost as tough as that day I first watched her toddle away, those blonde curls of hers bouncing. Now she perfers to wear those wild curls up, to style them like the big girls do. And as much as it pains me, I must let her.

One of the area's Veterans Day speakers also knows a little something about "The Art of Grandparenting." That's the title of the book Tim Stewart of Johnsburg helped author.

Stewart, a veteran and one of the speakers today at McHenry High School East Campus, contributed the essay, "Grandparenting: Your Reward for Raising Your Own" to the book. (He actually wanted to call it "Grandparenting: Your Reward for not Killing Your Own," but for some reason, his publisher didn't go for it.)

The essay is his latest published work. A motivational speaker, he owns the business Reach for Your Dreams and has had two books - "Positive Force" and "I Owe it to My Friend" - published. You can read more about him and his business on his web site, www.reachforyourdreams.com.

Among the many titles he's held throughout his life, grandpa is one he definitely cherishes. Stewart has three children and five grandchildren, ranging in age from 19 months old to six.

"My main message was just to enjoy them every second," Stewart said. 

Motivated by her first grandchild, Stewart's publisher, Valerie Connelly of Nightengale Press, had called him asking him to contribute to the book.

He thought back on the things he missed as a parent.

"As you become a grandparent, you realize business isn't nearly important as family," he said. 

He remembered that even if his parents weren't able to make it to games, recitals or other events, his grandparents were there. So that's what he intends to do as a grandparent: be there.

His second message is this: spoil them.

"My dad and my father-in-law would do things that drove me nuts," he said.

Now that he's a grandfather, he gets it. 

"A grandson lives in Dallas. When he's around, I spoil the kid rotten," he said. "That's my job."

For more information on the book, described as "a funny, touching, informing, heartfelt collection of essays, stories and how-to's from experienced grandparents," go to the web site www.Theartofgrandparenting.com. 

Stewart asks that you e-mail him with "grandparenting" in the subject title at r4yd@comcast.net to order the book. He'll even sign it personally for you.

A kid pulls a winter coat off a rack and slips it on.

“Mom, I like this one,” the kid says. “Can we get it?”

For many families today, the answer might be, “No, we can’t afford it.”

That’s why it’s so gratifying for Sue Dobbe to watch a similar scene unfold as she volunteers for the Rotary Club of Crystal Lake Dawnbreakers Coat-A-Kid program.

“Mom can say, ‘Yes,’ ” said Dobbe, who oversees marketing and public relations for the club.

The program has provided free winter coats to families for more than a decade, its roughly 50 volunteers quietly doing their thing every year.

The club asks parents and students at schools throughout the Crystal Lake area to bring gently used coats and drop them in huge boxes.

Club members then pick them up, sort through them and hand them out to needy families and children every Friday at the Algonquin Township office building.

It’s simple, really. But the program’s impact is far-reaching, offering parents a way to teach their kids about giving back.

And more needy families than ever are given one less stress to worry about this winter season.

“You feel like you’ve done something really worthwhile especially when you see the light in their eyes when they go, ‘This one fits me,’” Dobbe said.

In its first night of distribution, the club only had about 20 of nearly 400 coats donated left. Many times, the group runs out of coats and has to turn people away.

The program continues throughout the month, with the last distribution day scheduled for Dec. 4.

Even if your child isn’t a part of any Crystal Lake area school, you still can help by bringing your donations on a distribution night to the back building at Algonquin Township Office, 3702 Northwest Highway.

Distribution takes place in that building from 5 to 6:30 p.m. Nov. 13, Nov. 20 and Dec. 4.

Hats, gloves, scarves, snow suits and basically any winter gear is sought.

“I remember being that parent long before I was a Dawnbreaker and pulling out coats and saying, ‘This isn’t going to fit this year.’ What do you do with it?” Dobbe said.

She’d send it to school with her child, never seeing the outcome.

Well, now she’s seen the outcome.

“Whole families come to this, and they’re trying on all the coats,” Dobbe said.

Some asked if they could bring last year’s coats back so someone else could use them, she said.

“That is charity and community,” she said.

Besides the Algonquin Township, coats can be dropped off until Dec. 2 at elementary schools in districts 46 and 47, St. Thomas School, Immanuel Lutheran School and Prairie Grove.

I worry too much.

Am I doing this right? Am I screwing them up?

Will we be there on time? Have they gotten enough sleep? Are they hungry? Does she feel hot?

What is she wearing? What’s in her hair? What’s in my hair?

An endless stream of questions, big and small, run through my head daily about my kids.

I’m often doubting myself when they’re awake. And when they’re asleep, when the house is quiet, except for the occasional moan of our broken toilet, I’m feeling guilty about that harsh word or two said in frustration, that opportunity missed.

Perhaps I read too much about parenting. Do it this way. Don’t do it that way.

So much information, so much advice, it’s almost daunting.

When I think about the future, when I write stories like this about kids getting bullied, I worry more.

Because when they’re older, when they’re out there on their own, they’ll face a world full of peers and pressure and who knows what else.

“I honestly do think kids today have a lot thrown at them,” said Marilyn Twining, a mother, retired educator and adviser who works with teachers, parents and students to combat bullying.

She has studied “relational aggression,” the name given to a type of bullying that is less physical and more manipulative.

It’s especially seen among girls, Twining told me, many of whom are filled with anger and rage. They’ll push others out of peer groups, taunt and tease. Why do they do it? Numerous reasons, Twining said.

“There’s no such thing as a C-student today,” she said. “Everybody and every parent in this world expects their child to be an A-student. When I went to school, you did the best you could.”

Same goes for sports and other extracurricular activities, she said, where kids feel pressured to be the best.

“That causes a tremendous amount of inner-rage,” she said. “A child should be able to play and fail at things and find ways to come back from that.”

And many parents these days simply don’t have the support of grandparents, aunts and uncles around to help them out, Twining said.

“There’s a lot of loneliness today,” she said. “People don’t tend to have friendships like they used to. There’s certainly a change when we have to go to a computer to get our love.”

So how do you instill enough self-confidence, enough compassion in your children? How do you make them strong, good, happy?

Be firm, but positive, Twining said. Teach them to give back, and give them self-esteem, she said.

Little remarks, such as “Why can’t you tie your shoes yet?” tend to slip out, she said.

“How much does it cost to say to a little kid, ‘I like your sweater,’ instead of ‘How come your hair isn’t combed?’” Twining asked.

Most of all, just love them, she said. That, I can do.