In light of the disastrous economy, I felt compelled to write this particular blog entry. If you read the parenting magazines or how-to books, you will always come across an article about what it means to be a parent.

They give tips to first-time fathers and mothers, what to expect, what to fear. Usually the articles focus on diaper changing, losing sleep, potty training, getting your child in the best preschool, covering all of the bases of parenting. There often are product suggestions of some of the most expensive baby gear
that most average working parents couldn't dream of affording. What articles I would love to see now, are ones focusing on being a great parent while struggling with this economy. Trying to juggle paying bills with keeping your children in all of the activities they want to be a part of. The amount of sacrifice that normally occurs for parents is tripled during these times.

On one hand, you don't want your children taking on too much information, they are just kids. However, the reality that you may not be able to accomplish everything for them is devastating for a parent, especially if you have raised loving, apprciative kids who you feel deserve everything.

Parenting is not meant for everyone and it is during these times when it shows the most. Great parents will sacrifice to levels unknown during these times, just so they can see that smile on their child's face. These are the times to remind your children of the most important things in life, their family, their good health, the little moments in life that make you laugh and cry.

As hard as these times are, I do appreciate my family. My parents raised me with great values that are really coming in handy now, and I have great respect for my husband for all of the juggling he does to keep those smiles on our kids' faces. Truly good parents don't have to rely solely on money to make their children happy. Things like giving up your time to play catch in the yard, or just sitting and listening to your children babble or sing for hours. Making memories of every little thing you do, whether you think it is a big deal or not. These are things that my husband and I take for granted because it is part of our being. Not every child receives that kind of time and sacrifice.

For some parents, it is easier just to buy something or give your child money to do their own thing. For some, giving up their personal time is too much. That is a sacrifice not all parents are willing to make. To some parents who are all about time, but feel inadequate because they cannot give as much money, this is to tell you how fortunate your children are. In a perfect world, it would be awesome to have both.

However, for a child, the things they will carry with them will ultimately be how much time they got to spend with their mommy or daddy. The times that their parents may have been ill or sad, but kept it to themselves so their kids could have fun. For parents who have to work, there is still time to make memories. I think it is more about the quality of the time spent with your children. It just really hits home during these times because as parents, the level of sacrifice becomes greater, and only the strong survive. These are times where the sacrifice may be too much, and some parents fold or are just too plain selfish to sacrifice what is necessary.

Bless all of you parents out there who feel as my husband and I do, that there is no sacrifice too great when it is for your children. Just something to think during these hard times, and I really hope families who are struggling with job loss and fear and sadness don't feel like they are alone or worthless. Ultimately, it is the exact opposite.


 

I have reluctantly accepted one of the unavoidable aspects of having a house full of boys – the "frat house" scenario.

While I know there are those few neat freak men out there, and it is possible for a boy to have a clean room, the majority of our little young men like to see how messy they can get a room, and still locate it. I gave up on the idea of giving my boys all their own rooms a long time ago. You start to realize the more rooms they get, the more rooms they destroy.

While it is true that getting rid of old clothes, and minimizing the toys they have, may help, the reality is that you still need clothes to be in their rooms, and there is a certain amount of toys needed to occupy them when they finally go to their rooms. Now I must give my boys some credit, they do help me clean their rooms occasionally, and they are always excited when we are done and they can actually get into their rooms again without tripping over something.

The problem is, they can go pretty long sleeping and playing in a complete mess. I love my boys, but on this topic, I give in and admit they are all boy. I thank God for doors, so we can at least shield the poor visitors that may come and go from what lurks upstairs. The one rule that I have instituted for the boys is that I will not have any playdates with their friends if their rooms are a mess. This does work sometimes to get an extra cleaning out of them.

I still have not found a complete solution to this one, because you cannot change the nature of a boy.   We are constantly bombarded with media coverage of sports events, and what is always a sure thing? The nasty reality of a men's locker room. Will that ever change? I don't think so.

Again, I know I am not talking about every man and every boy, but there are just so many that fall into this category. When I first prepared my first nursery for the twins, we painted the room special colors, and I went crazy looking for this Looney Toons border, I went nuts finding the right one. I put it up and, a few months later, my twins pulled it all down.

That was the beginning of what was to come. Gorgeous sheet sets, tossed on the floor. It is great to see your sons sprawled out directly on an expensive mattress. Their new suits tossed in a pile because they think the maid will press and return it to the hanger. Stuffed animals that you spent tons of money winning for them at the carnival used as a barricade blocking the entrance to their room.

Thank God I was able to ban food from the rooms, and actually got my way on that one. That at least eliminates the bug scenario that is, I am sure, a part of frat house living.

You have to be happy with the "little victories." I will say that I am hopeful as the boys get older I will be able to get them to take more pride in their things, and maybe look at the subject of living in a clean environment as not a punishment, but an accompishment.

I know there are a lot of mothers out there who just accept that they have boys, and this is what
boys do. Some of them may spend all of their days cleaning up after their boys. I will assist my boys, and give direction, and maybe offer a short cut, but that is as far as it goes.

I accept this challenge, and my feeling is that if I can get my boys just to be even a little different on this issue, I will have done a good job. So I say to all the boys out there, it is not uncool or a waste of time to keep a clean room, or help your mom. You are taking pride in yourself, and you are thanking your parents for all they provide for you.

Don't pay attention to stereotypes, you are too young for that.

Frat houses may be cool when you are in college, but that is where it ends. Nobody wants to live in a frat house forever, so why don't you work with your mothers and keep that room clean. You may just find all the things that have been buried in the bottom of that closet, and then you will have your mom to thank.