Oliver: Best to use sense before sending

“What were they thinking?” I find that to be my response these days to any number of things.

The latest was after reading a story Monday by reporter Sarah Sutschek about the phenomenon of “sexting” among teenagers and twentysomethings.

Sending provocative photos and videos via cell phone has become part of the culture, one researcher contends.

An obvious problem with sexting is that it’s illegal – as in child-pornography illegal when youngsters are involved. As in register-as-a-sex-offender illegal.

That alone should make young people think twice before hitting the “send” button. But if that weren’t enough, there’s always the chance that the recipient will decide to share those pictures with the rest the planet via cell phone and social-networking Web sites.

Exponential humiliation.

Of course, it’s debatable whether such communication among young people should carry so harsh a penalty. And a measure to change that is in the works.

The legislation would make it a misdemeanor to send electronic nude images of another person without that person’s consent and with the intent of harming a reputation or causing emotional distress.

That’s good. Better would be to also teach young people about the pitfalls of electronic communication.

It’s trickier than it looks.

Anyone who has used e-mail probably has figured out that it doesn’t convey “tone” very well. Sarcasm, for example, rarely translates. One person’s humor is another’s horror.

And who hasn’t shot off an overly harsh e-mail in anger? It reminds me of that scene in “Groundhog Day” where Bill Murray has Phil behind the wheel: “Don’t drive angry. Don’t drive angry!” Insert “type” for “drive,” and you get my drift.

Then there’s the “I-do-not-think-it-means-what-you-think-it-means” phenomenon. (Thank you, “Princess Bride.”)

Years of writing headlines has conditioned me to see secondary meanings in all I write. But anyone can miss an unintentionally questionable reading in an otherwise innocuous statement.

Send one to the wrong person and, well, there are consequences. Misunderstandings arise that sometimes cannot be explained away, no matter how innocent you are.

Words matter; so use caution.

My younger colleagues tell me that “their generation” tends to be more open with sharing their lives publicly and online. As in, I just don’t understand.

That might be true, but I also realize that relationships change. A friend today might not be a friend tomorrow. That silly picture on Facebook or MySpace might come back to haunt. That
e-mail sent without thinking could cost a friend, a job or worse.

Are you comfortable sharing such intimate details with thousands – potentially millions – of complete strangers?

It’s definitely worth considering.

Think before you send.

• Joan Oliver is a community editor for the Northwest Herald. She can be reached at 815-526-4552 or by e-mail at joliver@nwherald.com.