McCaleb: Don’t like to lose? Change the rules

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In at least one way, my son is like Capt. James T. Kirk of “Star Trek” lore.

Neither, it seems, likes to lose.

Anyone who’s seen “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” or last summer’s prequel, “Star Trek,” is familiar with the Kobayashi Maru test, a computer simulated, no-win training exercise for cadets seeking leadership positions in the fictional Star Fleet.

Kirk, according to the story line, faced the Kobayashi Maru simulation twice and met the same, predictable result – he and his crew were destroyed. Not wanting to lose a third time, Kirk reprogrammed the computer exercise and won. He changed the rules of the game so he couldn’t lose.

From time to time, I’ll catch my son trying to change the rules of whatever game he’s playing when his victory is in doubt.

The computer has the lead in “Madden ’09”? He’ll switch to two-player mode and “play” both sides.

His younger sister is beating him in a board game? It’s not the player who gets to the end first who wins, it’s the one who gets to spin the wheel the most. Or collects the most wild cards. Or whatever else he can come up with.

My wife and I are working on him, although we have a ways to go.

I got the feeling this week that some state legislators might be acting a little like my son and Captain Kirk.

Not happy with what’s happening at the local level with the Illinois Video Gaming Act, they’re considering changing the rules of the game to get the outcome they want.

To date, about two dozen municipalities and three county boards have voted to opt out of allowing bars and restaurants to install video poker machines as part of the state’s plan to finance its $31 billion capital plan.

The McHenry County Board is considering a similar move.

Of course, if enough local governments follow their constituents’ wishes and opt out, the state won’t meet its revenue expectations.

So a plan is floating around Springfield to place a shot clock, of sorts, on when county and municipal boards can decide to opt out.

Don’t pull the trigger by the deadline, your county or town is stuck with video gambling.

Forever.

Seems like a childish – and preposterous – proposal. It’s ideas like these that have me wishing sometimes that our lawmakers would just take their ball and go home.

Childish, perhaps, but less dangerous for all of us.

As I close this column, I realize I might have a new tactic to use against my son.

Next time I catch him trying to change the rules of the game, I’ll tell him to stop acting like our state lawmakers.

Even an 8-year-old would be shamed by that.

• Dan McCaleb is editor of Northwest Herald. He can be reached at 815-526-4603, or via
e-mail at dmccaleb@nwherald.com.