Krug: 
Annoyed by words? What-ehv-errrrr

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Choosing words isn’t terribly difficult.

By the time we reach the first grade, our vocabularies are robust enough to order through a speaker at the drive-through window.

But choosing the right words can be a challenge.

It’s not that they’re heavy or slippery or difficult to handle. Well, I guess sometimes the messages they convey can be. But the biggest challenge with words is which one to choose.

And if you’ll let me go tangential here for a moment, let me tell you that there is that whole spelling thing. I still remember when kids in my grammar school (I am just old enough to remember people calling it that) would ask the teacher at the start of an exam if spelling counted. The answer never was “no,” and oftentimes the question was met with the formation of a puff of smoke from the ears of an under-caffeinated instructor.

Let me offer a piece of advice on which words not to use.

Start by placing “whatever” at the top of the list.

Now “whatever” formerly was a perfectly fine pronoun. As a response to your wife when she asked what you might like to do on a Sunday afternoon, saying, “Whatever you’d like, my dear,” was not only grammatically sound, but also helped score points that you could redeem later.

But today if the wifey tells you that you are going out to some apple orchard in the middle of Wisconsin and that the SUV is departing right about the time that Robbie Gould is scheduled to put his big toe into a pigskin to lift off another glorious Sunday afternoon of keeping your couch warm, saying, “Yeah, whatever,” is not going to cut it.

In fact, “whatever” was named last week as the most annoying word in conversation by an annual survey conducted by the gluttons for punishment at New York’s Marist University. As if you need a study to know what word was No. 1.

To further the point just a tad more, if the missus asks you to separate yourself from the sofa for that apple adventure and you overemphasize your response by elongating the word to, “what-ehv-errrrr,” she might be legally allowed to lay hands upon you. And not in a good way.

I have my crack legal team looking into that at this very moment.

Other no-no words on Marist’s list of conversation-stoppers included “anyway,” “you know,” and the grating phrases “it is what it is,” and “at the end of the day.”

That gives each of us cause to at least attempt at some point this week to derail any conversation that we did not enter into willingly with the show-stopping response of, “Anyway… you know, it is what it is, and at the end of the day, it still will be what it was, you know. Anyway … ”

Or you could simply say, “whatever.”

At your own risk, of course.

• • •

Annoyances abound: I found it somewhat disappointing that “do you think?” wasn’t included in the list. That is in my top five, for sure.

Perhaps this phrasing is lobbed only at those who too frequently state the obvious. However, I am fairly sure that when staring out the window and marveling that the rain is turning to slush and that the trees are nearly bent over by a wicked gust of wind that anyone who has the gall to reply, “do you think?” should be placed in a half nelson.

Let’s make that two items into which the legal team can delve.

• • •

CDC? Guess we’ll see: Under almost any circumstance, it would appear to be good news that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Division of Environmental Hazards and Health Effects has agreed to look into the instance rate of brain cancer in the tiny hamlet of McCullom Lake.

Unfortunately, the news that the CDC would be willing to investigate was tempered by the reality that it has agreed to review only existing data. And, frankly, much of the old data might be worthless.

We’ve written extensively about the inherent problems with the methodology of the McHenry County Department of Health’s 2006 study. Clearly, MCDH was out over its skis.

Subsequently, reports authored by the MCDH, the Illinois Department of Public Health and the federal Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry each has indicated that there are not atypical numbers of brain cancer cases in McHenry County. However, none of those studies managed to explain in satisfactory terms how it is possible that a town with about 1,000 residents could have associated to it 24 known cases of a brain cancer that statistically affects three (3) in 100,000 Americans.

I give Chairman Ken Koehler and the McHenry County Board kudos for pressing ahead with this matter and for asking the CDC to intervene in the process. Doing something almost always nudges out doing nothing. But I have little confidence that the review of existing data will net new information about what happened in McCullom Lake.

The only hope for truth is that a new study is conducted by an agency competent enough to complete such a study. If you have the number to that organization, please feel free to give them a call.

• • •

Mark your calendar: Don’t forget about the Family Health Partnership Clinic’s Care 4 Breast Cancer 5k Walk and Run fundraising event, scheduled for Oct. 25 at Lippold Park in Crystal Lake.

As you already might know, the Family Health Partnership Clinic does an incredible job of helping the uninsured in McHenry County. This event is all about raising awareness and the necessary funds to fight breast cancer here at home.

The entry fee for runners is only $25, and all the proceeds go to aid in the screening and prevention of breast cancer in McHenry County. To register for the event, call Rhienna Kujawa at 815-334-8987 or click to www.Care42009.kintera.org.

• • •

And finally … : If you happen to be working on your a homemade weather balloon, please do the nation a favor and make sure that you tether it properly. I am estimating that the U.S. of A. lost roughly a zillion dollars in productivity on Thursday as all work stopped while we were mesmerized by what looked like a silver chef’s hat floating around in the sky over Colorado.

Or was it a flattened souffle?

Ah, whatever.

Oops.

• Chris Krug is executive editor of the Northwest Herald. Contact Chris by calling 815-459-4122 or via e-mail at ckrug@nwherald.com. Keep up with Chris’ rants, raves and insights by following ChrisKrug (no space) at Twitter.com.