Atwater: Addicts need disaster plan
I’ve observed those who have successfully stayed sober and lived quality lives and those who have struggled.
There seems to be a fairly definable recipe for disaster in the not-staying-sober department and all these qualities or character issues have little or nothing directly to do with using alcohol and drugs.
The first ingredient is an attitude of rigid, self-righteousness, the opposite of the necessary surrender. Many of us have met the folks who grudgingly attend AA because their wives, husbands, judges or counselors have “made them do it.” Couple this attitude with a dose of blame and simmering vindictiveness and we have a dangerous start to the stew.
Now we’ll throw in what I call “compartmentalized truth.” Some call it lying by omission. Many who start recovery harbor the secret hope they will be able to “handle it” someday. There’s nothing uncommon for an addict or alcoholic to have this thought – the problem, however is in the hiding of it.
Then there is “limited willingness.” The addict is convinced there are certain actions or steps that do not apply to them. Their case is different or not as bad, they think.
Another danger sign is the zealot who “gets it” in the first week and has, in their own mind, found the cure. These folks aren’t really listening. They are practicing alcoholism without the booze. A dangerous cousin to the zealot is the over-helper, who gets involved in the lives of others to the exclusion of their own issues.
A final dangerous ingredient is the unwillingness to let go of “other distractions” – unhealthy relationships, gambling or over-eating.
I heard a story a few weeks ago that captures the spirit of this type of recovery struggle. A young guy, fairly new to sobriety, had drinking and driving issues that netted him a revocation. He had decided because he needed to get to work, he would continue to drive. He shared this with his AA sponsor who “suggested” for the sake of honesty, integrity, legality and sobriety he find a ride. The young man was angry and insistent he had to get to work, but a day later he called and agreed not to drive.
His willingness to be honest and to do the right thing will go a long way to helping him stay sober.
Comments
Show / Hide Comments
Show / Hide Comments
