Many people intend to wait to get through the holidays before filing for a divorce. The result can be more tension in the household during November and December as planning begins for legal action next year. This often causes unrest for the entire family.
Talk to each other. Determine if you can agree to wait until after the holidays to get things started in the legal process. If there is resistance or hostility, talk to an attorney right away to try to get an agreement to suspend hostility for the benefit of the family. Be mindful that some people will be compelled to be confrontational and will see the holidays as an opportunity for hostility. If that is you, please stop. Rather use the holiday time to demonstrate a chance to show the family how peaceful the process can be. It is unlikely that you are hiding your intentions or that ignoring your spouse’s clues may save the marriage. This is a great time to start open communication and planning.
Talk to the kids. If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage next year, it is a good idea to sit down now and talk to the children together before the holidays. Kids feel the tension. The best gift you could give to the children could be to talk to them in a united fashion and then demonstrate how the family will still continue although under a different framework. Use the holiday months to demonstrate kindness and unity in parenting. Please don’t make the children wonder when the other shoe will drop. After you have all talked, make a concerted, united effort to have a memorable, happy and tension free holiday season for everyone.
Don’t forget to continue to exchange gifts and be kind.
Wakeman Law Group
741 S. McHenry Avenue
Crystal Lake, IL 60014