“I win if the kids hate him/her.” These statements are sadly too common for people in the process of divorce, paternity actions or post decree litigation. Here are some reasons to avoid those positions:
- If a court determines that one parent is “alienating” the other or not promoting a positive relationship between the parent and children, the other parent will likely receive more parenting time.
- It is damaging to children to be put into the middle of a break up. Children should never be expected to choose sides or judge a parent’s conduct.
- Strive to raise children who have happy, loving, respectful relationships with others. If you are a good relationship role model, your children will likely recreate what they know. Do you want your children to be in a relationship where their partner undermines and disparages them? Do you want your children to treat their future partner the way you are being treated or the way you are treating your ex?
- In every interaction with your children and your ex, you set a standard for acceptable behavior for your children. If you act with love, support and respect rather than anger and hostility, they will likely interact that way with you.
- Life is long. Look beyond the litigation and see graduations, birthdays, weddings. Don’t destroy those celebrations for your children and yourself.
- Counseling is expensive and time consuming. Minimize the need for counseling with a peaceful relationship so that you can use those resources enjoying time with the kids.
- The cost of litigating a divorce or paternity case when there is hostile conduct between parents is incredibly expensive and wasteful. Why spend $30,000 or more to likely reach a result that could have been negotiated amicably. Use those resources for college education or your retirement.
Wakeman Law Group
741 S. McHenry Avenue
Crystal Lake, IL 60014